Wednesday's Wanna Know Me?

After a couple months after Carter was born, it became painfully obvious that I was going to sink in life if Kirk and I didn't set up some safe guards to preserve our marriage and our individual lives as well. If we were only dealing with Down Syndrome, it would probably be a different story, well, I shouldn't even use the word "probably"....it WOULD be a different story. But, that is not the case, the reality of it is...special needs has become my life and it is draining, tiring, and something almost nobody can relate to. You read a lot about it through my words, but there are several things about special needs that I intentionally leave out from this blog. Therefore, after a few months of freaking out every Friday, thinking "this is too much Lord" way too often, Kirk and I sat down and did some thinking and some writing. I tried to figure out what things make me feel calm (like looking out in my backyard to a nicely edged and trimmed lawn...calm), and what energizes and motivates me (like dinner with a couple girlfriends or writing for a while), and what do I absolutely need to keep my eyes on Him through it all (like being alone with Him, no distractions). We also tried to figure out how to have a dynamic marriage when the reality of divorce rates with A (that means 1) special needs kid is alarming, not to mention three. Even though we promised to never use the "D" word, we don't want just a committed marriage, we want a happily committed marriage, and that means not forgetting us in the jumble of chaos we sometimes find ourselves in.

Just having that list written brings this control freak gal peace...just having a plan is relaxing, knowing that if I check anything off that safeguard list it will be a blessing for me. For me. That is a concept I like to hear..."for me" and all mom's know what a concept that is, to have something that helps them is rare, right? So, to have a list that helps me...pretty groovy I'd say!

(okay, when you see Carter's face on this pic...doesn't it just scream Joey from friends saying "how you doin?")

So, what's on the list you ask? Hmm, perhaps I'll share a few with the world:

Every 9 weeks I get 24 hours to myself in my home alone. Gaaaaalorious!

There cannot be any piles in my kitchen...like piles of mail, stuff...calm is the motto!

Kirk and I will get away for a weekend each year, plus dates at least twice a month.

Once in a while I need a decorating project/organizational project so I can find myself again.

Every Friday, Little Caesar's $5 pizza on paper plates is dinner...every Friday!

Kirk has arranged his schedule to get home earlier on some weeknights.

I must get up before the kids to be in my Bible and prayer.

I need to use my respite providers weekly or I will lose my mind. I PRAISE God for respite. And for the providers we have and LOVE!

Weekly dates on the porch swing is a must.

Kirk shares the load with therapy homework, so it doesn't swallow me like it has in the past.

And a whole bunch more that would bore the public.

Parenting is tough, parenting with special needs is crazy hard, and parenting with medical crap looming over you makes it almost unbearable at times. But, I am so thankful for the husband I have who gets to walk it with me, for the thursday phone call friend I have, for the one friend who seems to be walking eerily what I do each week and validates that my life is ridiculous at times, for my mexican buddy friend who keeps the perspective sweet, for the two gentle friends who make sure I'm doing good and listen well, and for the other special people who seem to have an "in" with the Spirit who prompts them to act and they obey. Yep, I've got a great team who loves our family a lot, even more so, they love the same Lord and that makes the difference when the tears come.