The New Nash

The younger Steve Nash is in the house. That statement cracks me up because on the first day of basketball practice, Zachary's coach told them how to dribble like Steve Nash. Zachary was the only one who didn't know who Nash was, so we went home and googled it and I showed him his picture. Yes, I know my husband is a PE teacher, but PRAISE THE LORD he does not watch any sports! So, my 6 1/2 year old has been playing basketball this spring and LOVES it! I have decided that basketball should be his sport...love my control issues? I love it because it is a. inside b. inside c. inside! No heat involved, no allergies involved, no wind and dust involved plus it is actually fun to watch. I snapped some pics of one of his games...he is so cute! He is fantastic at playing defense...too good. He made one boy cry because the kid could not get away from Zachary (the parent actually complained and the coach explained it this way..."Hey, that's basketball".) While he plays defense he completely forgets that a game is being played and never actually looks at the ball and almost always forgets about the rebound, but hey, the guy he's guarding doesn't have a chance of getting that ball!

Have you Given Up on Me?

I totally know I'm slacking in the blog area, to be honest, I'm okay with that. For the past two months, life has looked a bit different here (a better different) and frankly, I've been unmotivated and unwilling to share it with the world...bizarre, but makes sense to me.
Next week McKenzie's isolation is officially over. We go to her pulmonologist to determine if she needs to stay clear of "life" still since it seems as though so many people are still sick and with the potential Swine junk, so we'll see. I'm hoping she will say to stay in isolation...after seeing the huge success of the past two months of staying in our home, I'm terrified to allow her to put a toe into a store much less school. As much as the isolation has been hard on Kirk and I, I think he'd agree that we could endure a lifetime of it if it eliminated the "hellish" months we've endured the past three years. We've seen pretty awesome things come out of the past two -three months.
Since Zachary's surgery, he has grown and is eating a ton more! His specialist told us that would happen since having a chronic illness sucks up so many calories, that poor little guy didn't grow for an entire year (seriously), now he is 1/2 inch taller and looks more solid and is so much healthier and sweeter!
McKenzie has grown taller since being healthy (the whole chronic thing) and is eating like crazy since she is on steroids now...hasn't gained a pound for about 9 months, but she is growing up and looking much older to us. She is 27 pounds of pure cuteness and 5 ounces of serious drama.
The past two months have produced the sweetest friendship for our children...they literally adore each other now and truly see one another as their real friend...it's about time! They are constantly playing together and seem to depend on each other for entertainment, this is an area I have prayed over for years now and it is nice to see a glimpse of a neat relationship between the two of them...now after summer break things may look a bit differently :)
Zachary informed me this morning that he has 25 days left of school...can hardly believe it. It seems literally like a second ago that I was bawling my eyes out over him being gone all day and now I can't wait for him to be home this summer! He is growing up too quickly and I fall more in love with him each week...he is such a good boy with a mind that keeps me struggling to stay ahead of him. He will celebrate his forever day next week, so he is in planning mode.
Kirk will be done with work soon and I am looking forward to having family coffee time everyday...the longer we are married, the more I appreciate the life of a teacher. It is pretty awesome to have a husband home every day playing with the kids all the time...
And for the past two months I have been busy trying to understand my Savior more, trying to accept the fact that I am so stinking human all the time and accepting that maybe that is okay. I've had some interesting talks with some interesting friends that have really pulled me through some interesting thoughts I've been battling with. Have read some amazingly eye opening books that have introduced me to myself and have showed me what I was longing to see. Overall, the past two months of "isolation" have, not surprisingly, been a gift to me...funny how God's gift giving is seldom what I would have asked for, but more perfect that I could have dreamed...

Conversations with Kenzie

The other day my adorable daughter threw a fit bigger than her. After she was done and had that look like "well, I guess I didn't really need to carry on like that", I had the following conversation with her...

"Well, that was quite a fit McKenzie, we don't need to throw fits."

She thought for a couple seconds and responded with...

"Daddy, Zachary and Mommy throw Wii Fits all da time."

Too funny! I guess a fit to her involves the Wii.

Field Day

Zachary had his first field day yesterday and I got to go watch! He had the time of his life running for 3 hours, getting wet, and being a kindergartener! I got a kick out of watching him with his friends and "the girls". I learned this year that Zachary loves to have me present at his school, but he just doesn't feel the urge to acknolwedge me. At first it bummed me out since I am such a control freak type person, but now I think it's cute and I'm learning to let him lead and me just sit back and not be in control...good place to be. So, while I followed him around for 3 hours, he never once said "hi", but all his friends did (so cute), but I didn't miss the quick glances he'd send my way when he did something great or fast, I made sure not to "smile" too big back...we've got a good groove going, he's the best kid!

I must mention the amazing PE teacher that Zachary has at his school. This guy is highly organized and it seemed that he is the hero of the school (aren't all PE teachers?) The best thing about his PE teacher is that he is just so darn good looking! I let him know it yesterday when I mentioned to another mom that I thought the PE teacher was handsome. She just stared at me kindof in disbelief, until Kirk yelled across the field "She's my wife"...gotta love the PE teacher!

Still Here

I'm still here, and am happy to announce that not much is going on! We are still in our

isolation mode, I am still about hitting crazy by the end of each day, I still feel that isolation can make one beyond exhausted (hence the no posts), but I am thrilled to have a healthy daughter. We had a fun Easter, maybe I'll post some pics later, and this picture pretty much describes the week. Yes, under the fluff of a dress is a little toilet and yes those are ten toes that are not painted this week...so you now know how my mental mood is! So, McKenzie isn't really getting the whole potty training thing. Believe me, seriously, believe me, it isn't for a lack of trying. A few weeks ago, someone mentioned that I should try to potty train her again since we were stuck at home anyways. I pretty much gasped and said absolutely not! One thing that I'm finding out about myself is that I can't handle too much and this whole isolation, medicine, illness stuff was already too much, I needed to put up a wall to everything else and proclaim that those can be tended to later (I still haven't made a cardiology appointment for my son...just can't face too much I suppose...self preservation). But, last week I determined that the guilt I would later endure over not even trying the potty thing during this time would be too great, so I dove in and am in it full force. I'm telling you, potty training a special needs child just isn't normal...potty training in itself isn't normal, but throw the special needs part in...holy cow! So, seriously, please don't comment with any advice, believe me, I've read the books, but funny, I can't find a book on how to potty train with FAS. Well, one of my books about FAS said that usually a child with FAS is potty trained by age 12. I always laughed and said, "Good, I'm not even going to try until age 11". Well, now I'm starting to possibly believe this textbook. Seriously, my sweet child is more than able cognitively to be potty trained, there is just something not ready physiologically, which makes everyone involved a bit frustrated. Last night, I am proud to say her amazing brother got her to go potty on the toilet! The parade we held for that 3 year old was probably heard in Mesa and the presents we dumped in her lap along with the promises of fun...were pretty ridiculous, but man, Kirk and I were at the point of promising Millions for this girl to "get it". I won't mention that today she has been in several different pairs of princess underwear and that there has been no shouts of hallelujah today, but God gave us a fun 5 minutes last night and we are equipped to press on!

Conversations with Z-Man

I know this picture is just awful, but I adore his look, his laugh, you had to be there I guess, and I was, that's why it's making the blog. I haven't posted a lot of conversations with Z-Man lately because the kid is growing up, which makes all conversations full of things that make sense, serious stuff and seriously funny stuff, but that funny little kid stuff is fleeting. But...I love our converstations so much more now! It's like I have a buddy to hang out with after hours on the bed...for chit chat time. Zachary loves Chit Chat time, I tolerate it well. I say tolerate because I am so dead to the world by 7:30 at night, seriously, I'm good from 5 am- to around 2 pm, then I go quickly downhill and around 6:30 I'm all about...get in the shower, brush teeth, medicine time, bible time, throw kids in bed, close door, hear my name, roll my eyes say "what" then close the door again. Seriously, evenings are not my finest mothering moments. And if you to are like this, you need to comment so I feel better having a buddy with me on this! Get me up at 5am and you will find the most delightful woman...ready to conquer the world (only until 2 pm). Anyways...I'm digressing, sorry. My good friend started having conversation time with her daugther and has shared that is the most special time, so I began doing it too, most likely not with the kind of attitude my friend has, but I'm hanging in there. So, back to the conversation.

This week I was laying on his bed surrounded by little plastic army guys, star wars everywhere with cars lined up as the bad guys (seriously, for a first born, this kid is so not "first born" like with cleanliness and organization in his room...grrr). We were on our bellies and he was leaning against me...(that's usually when my attitude softens and I imagine him 14 doing this) he asked me what my favorite movie was. I had to think a long time because my mind instantly goes to things like BOLT or Toy Story, so as I pushed passed all the Veggie Tales and Princess Flicks that kept entering my mind, I told him that I really couldn't choose a favorite movie (uhhh, probably because for almost 7 years I haven't gotten out too much...didn't suggest this) but that I loved movies where a man and a woman fall in love and get married and live happily ever after (yes, I'm one of those hopeless romantics...I'm sure you already could tell). He said to me"Just like you and Dad." Ahh...I smiled and thought for a couple seconds and I said, "Yep, just like me and Dad."

Real

So, this morning in my prayer journal, I was telling God how I was just feeilng ho hum, that I was highly unmotivated, exhausted after 10 hours of sleep (??) and needing His energy today. I was thinking about this blog and that I should probably post something, then I thought...let's post today...it's pretty darn REAL...not many pampering moments...so because I want to keep it REAL...

So, I find myself lately relating to a Manatee. The Manatees at Sea World are usually my favorite stop, I've always said it would be just so sweet to be a Manatee...this large creature slowly doing ballerina twirls in a tank of water constantly full of food. No responsibilities, just ocassionally eat and keep swimming. They always look so gentle and there is constant beautiful music playing at the display that play on people's emotions, making them simply fall in love with these endagered animals. Sounds pretty awesome to me...But this week, I'm starting to feel like a Manatee and I'm realizing that perhaps they aren't all that! I am this massive manatee with no where to go, no one to talk with, I've got this over active "fish" buggin me throughout the day (yes, I just called my three year old a fish and mentioned buggin at the same time), occassionally I'll pull myself together to eat and indulge, but really, sitting still seems pretty awesome. I'm one large manatee...pathetic huh? To top it off, I am a large manatee with Pink eye...with Pink eye...where does pink eye come from when you are in isolation??? Hmmm, I have no clue. So, I'm a manatee with swollen eyes, that drip constantly which makes one feel really yucky sick in the head, I have to wear my glasses instead of contacts which makes me feel not really with it, and I've got this three year old who has decided she isn't expelling enough energy being stuck at home so she is on a nap strike. Granted, I still make her have "quiet" time for 2 hours in her room, but all of us moms know that quiet time and nap time are like apples and oranges to our mental state. So, I'm finding myself sitting on chairs just staring at the wall and actually having no desire to do anything about that. Weird. McKenzie actually has started saying "Woohoo" to me, waving her arm in front of my face (there is that fish buggin thing). Today, her PT came for an hour and I'm afraid I was actually sad to see him go, kindof kept striking up conversations simply to talk to someone who was completely capable of talking back with me in full on conversations with meaning to them! It could be a really, really long month, and I've always thought April was long in the past...it's going to be interesting.

Someone asked me how McKenzie is doing on this isolation thing. I responded with, it really isn't all that odd to her...the child didn't really have a party life before. Just preschool and therapy, and if healthy (big IF) church. She has only been in a McDonald's playland twice in her life (you read that right), she hasn't been to a mom's group, story time, a ballet class, nothing. Her world has always been full of playdates called therapy and friends called therapists. So, this isn't hard on her, except she can't go to school and expel some energy. BUT, I'm used to running errands and getting out three times a week while she is in school, so this is a very different situation for the manatee....very slow.

Evenso, I am thrilled with the isolation because my daugther is healthy! Zachary is getting used to the "spray down" everyday after school and he is just so content to see McKenzie as his "little buddy". We did venture out for dinner on Sunday with McKenzie...I was too selfish and just couldn't take it anymore. We were pretty anal about everything she touched, and she really didn't enjoy herself at all because of the new technique we have called "Making our family become OCD" rituals. But it was sweet to not cook and to get out as a family of four.

So,that is today...well if I was honest, that is my week thus far...quite manatee like. Good thing people seem to like the manatee huh?